We all go through breakups.
They can be rough, and they can be amicable; no matter what, no one
really wants to go through them. Breakups are handled differently by
different people. These steps may not be perfect for everyone, but they
can help!
Examine
what happened, and ask yourself why.
You have to make it clear to
yourself that this may not be entirely your fault - or not your fault
at all. Really thinking about the reasons it ended can make it clearer
to you that it takes two people to start a relationship, but one
discordant person is enough to end it. It may also help you avoid
missteps in the future if you can identify areas where you contributed
to the demise of the relationship.Accept your pain. Have your
good long cries if you feel like it. It's okay to be hurt, feel alone,
and feel like you have messed up. Accepting responsibility for your
mistakes or shortcomings is healthy, but you must also accept that you
are a good person, and this is not all one-sided. Of course, a stage of
denial is completely natural, but acceptance is the key to being able
to begin to move on.
Keep your distance. Even if you and your ex have
decided to stay friends, take a complete break from each other
immediately after the breakup. That means no seeing each other, no
phone calls, no e-mails, no Instant Messaging, and most importantly, no
sex - not necessarily as a permanent measure (except where sex is
concerned), but until you feel that you can converse with him/her like
a normal person, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get
back together counts as an ulterior motive).Deal with the hate
phase. This is where you want to just scream because you are so angry,
even furious. The amount of anger you feel all depends on how bad the
split was, how it occurred (was there infidelity? That makes it worse),
and how long it took to make the final break. There may be feelings of
resentment at your ex for wasting your time. You may realize the
breakup was inevitable (hindsight will reveal clues you failed to
notice at the time). You may even feel like you hate yourself, but let
go of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time to be hating and ripping
yourself apart over something you no longer have the power to change. Read more on Pattaya Daily News
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